Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
