It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
