I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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