i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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