Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She announced her abortion via fbk
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
