Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
