be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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