"it" just moved
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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