it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
