There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
