is your mom at the bar?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
