Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
