Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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