I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
