sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
