So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
