what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dignity is for republicans.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
