I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
