whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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