Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
