Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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