Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
