really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
