I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
