Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ass is underappreciated
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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