dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
