pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
