Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
