I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
