I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
