Taylor Swift is so right about you.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Drunk is not a location!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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