Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
