I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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