that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
