Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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