You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
