i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
