so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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