Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
