I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
