Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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