Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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