I love black thongs
My sheets look like a crime scene.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
