I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
