dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
