For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
