i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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