Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
