I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
