waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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