Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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