Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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