They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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