UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
