im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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