Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
