eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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