You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
