i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm passing your future prison.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
