got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
